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[Random Quote] - sex is like math..you have to add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope to god you dont multiply - (Added by: kilpatty43)

List of all the random quotes
Poster Quote Date Added Delete Edit
DJParks Those who live in the past are doomed to enjoy it. (Found on the back of a Porsche 906) 2003-05-28 12:31 PM Delete Edit
karl Some men find a way to live within their means, other men find the means to live a way of their choosing. 2003-06-03 11:59 PM Delete Edit
4re308 The 3 fastest times across the USA, were done in 3 different Ferraris! 2003-06-09 9:57 AM Delete Edit
masermartin "It takes a big man to cry. But it takes an even bigger man to laugh at the man who is crying." -- Jack Handy 2003-06-12 11:52 PM Delete Edit
masermartin "If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." - Mario Andretti 2003-06-16 10:39 PM Delete Edit
DJParks Stupidity Should Be Painful. 2003-08-10 2:09 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 What do you mean im broke, I have 6 million dollars!?, Well remember when you bought the 6 million dollar man?.......OH YEAH, and then he ran away. 2003-08-15 11:56 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 Too bad you can't add 10psi to your penis... there's just no replacement for displacement. - Ghettoraid 2003-08-16 10:53 AM Delete Edit
EnderG60 "OH NO, someone must have died! I hope it was one of my enemies, Those guys suck." - Bender 2003-08-20 11:26 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 I got rid of my teeth at a young age because..... I'm straight. Teeth are for gay people. That's why fairies come and get them. - Master Shake 2003-09-23 8:56 PM Delete Edit
F1Julie "Because he's German, he's got an odd-shaped head." - Eddie Irvine on Michael Schumacher's helmet in 1996 2003-09-30 9:21 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 "Nitrous is like a really hot girl with STD's. You know you wanna hit it but you're afraid of the consequences" - Unknown 2003-10-21 8:23 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 "Remember to never go faster then the posted speed limit,.....but since I don't see one." - Adam Carrola 2003-10-23 2:39 PM Delete Edit
F1Julie "A Boxter is like a Porsche with panties." - Ralph Cifaretto, the Sopranos 2003-10-24 9:53 PM Delete Edit
karl Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. 2003-11-28 5:40 PM Delete Edit
F1Julie "I didn't accuse him of being a faggot. I said he should stop acting like one." --Eddie Irvine after calling David Coulthard a faggot 2003-12-15 9:38 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 turbo lag is basically foreplay 2003-12-16 6:30 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 Burnouts are vehicular masturbation 2003-12-30 10:27 AM Delete Edit
EnderG60 Paddle shift in a Ferrari is like putting your d!ck in a milking machine....effective but nowhere near as fun - Jay Leno 2003-12-30 10:27 AM Delete Edit
EnderG60 Cams are like women - they all have boobs but some are bigger than others and YOU just need to figure out if you like'em big or small 2003-12-31 12:08 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 Now thats your standard rifle. Simple point and click interface. 2004-01-28 9:54 PM Delete Edit
ferrarichick4789 Resistance comes in many ways, 1 of which happens to be Pontiacs. 2004-02-13 12:12 AM Delete Edit
ferrarichick4789 "I don't come with dice, so don't play me" 2004-02-14 10:54 PM Delete Edit
ferrarichick4789 Heaven won't have me and hell is afraid i'll take over! 2004-02-14 10:56 PM Delete Edit
ferrarichick4789 "Hi welcome to waiting for the video. Today the video we're waiting for is called 'Somewhere I Belong' by Linkin Park. But, unfortunately, we've been standing around all day and i dunno if we're ever gunna get to shoot a video! After this comercial break, you're going to come back and see us, waiting for the video!" -Mike, from Linkin Park 2004-02-15 11:39 PM Delete Edit
ferrarichick4789 I don't snort..I just laugh like a pig 2004-02-17 5:49 PM Delete Edit
stubbs "one by one the yard gnomes steal my sanity" 2004-02-19 8:21 AM Delete Edit
stubbs "Those who can't do........teach" 2004-02-19 8:22 AM Delete Edit
stubbs "We'll all go induvidually in a group, you go first and I'll go ahead of you" 2004-02-19 8:22 AM Delete Edit
kilpatty43 "yay i as walk through the valley of rice, i will fear no turbo, for torque is with me..." 2004-02-19 12:11 PM Delete Edit
kilpatty43 "you never learn anything talking to someone you agree with" 2004-02-19 12:20 PM Delete Edit
kilpatty43 "true friends stab you in the front" -oscar wilde 2004-02-20 7:19 AM Delete Edit
kilpatty43 "sex is more fun than cars, but cars refuel quicker than men" - germaine greer 2004-02-20 7:38 AM Delete Edit
kilpatty43 "i didnt invent sin, i'm just trying to perfect it" 2004-02-20 7:38 AM Delete Edit
kilpatty43 "sex is like good bridge: if you dont have a good partner, you better have a good hand."-charles pierce 2004-02-20 7:39 AM Delete Edit
ferrarichick4789 "Slavery they can have anywhere. It is a weed that grows in every soil." -Edmund Burke 2004-02-23 5:52 PM Delete Edit
ferrarichick4789 "What pity is it that we can die but once to serve our country!" -Joseph Addison 2004-02-23 5:55 PM Delete Edit
ferrarichick4789 "The concessoins of the weak are the concessions of fear." -Edmund Burke 2004-02-23 5:57 PM Delete Edit
ferrarichick4789 "Had I been present at the Creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better ordering of the universe." -Alfonso The Wise, King of Castile 2004-02-23 6:00 PM Delete Edit
ferrarichick4789 "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." -Anonymous 2004-02-23 6:02 PM Delete Edit
ferrarichick4789 "O God, if there is a God, save my soul, if I have a soul!" -Anonymous 2004-02-23 6:04 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil - Jack Handy 2004-02-25 10:07 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone. - Jack Handy 2004-02-25 10:07 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges - Jack Handy 2004-02-25 10:08 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up - Jack Handy 2004-02-25 10:08 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way - Jack Handy 2004-02-25 10:09 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo! I'd have all my money back. - Jack Handy 2004-02-25 10:10 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK HE'S GOING?! - Jack Handy 2004-02-25 10:10 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: Why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness - Jack Handy 2004-02-25 10:11 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people - Jack Handy 2004-02-25 10:12 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy - Jack Handy 2004-02-25 10:13 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did." - Jack Handy 2004-02-25 10:14 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes! Hey, better try the emergency brake! - Jack Handy 2004-02-25 10:15 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then, I told myself, "Go ahead and do whatever you want, it's okay by me." - Jack Handy 2004-02-25 10:16 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say. - Jack Handy 2004-02-25 10:17 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now - Jack Handy 2004-02-25 10:19 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, "Aw, who cares?" And then I think, "Hey, what's for supper? - Jack Handy 2004-02-25 10:20 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money. - Jack Handy 2004-02-25 10:21 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it - Jack Handy 2004-02-25 10:21 PM Delete Edit
YYZedd Some of these random quotes are really lame aren't they? 2004-03-03 1:28 PM Delete Edit
ferrarichick4789 "Living in a world like ours, with only knowing only one language is like living in a house, in only one room." -Sra. Lockfield 2004-03-30 2:52 PM Delete Edit
dracing "CARRERA GT ----> THE BEST HYPERCAR EVER - and don't bother arguing!" 2004-04-10 12:23 PM Delete Edit
F1Julie "Actually, we all smelled quite nice, really." Michael Schumacher responding to the use of the pomegranate/rose water substitute used at the Bahrain GP. 2004-04-13 7:14 PM Delete Edit
EnderG60 I drive way too fast to worry about my cholesterol. - SLC4EVER 2004-04-22 9:46 AM Delete Edit
EnderG60 Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf. - Lewis Mumford 2004-04-22 9:51 AM Delete Edit
EnderG60 The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. 2004-04-22 9:54 AM Delete Edit
EnderG60 I'm so hungry I'm farting fresh air 2004-04-22 9:56 AM Delete Edit
EnderG60 If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do? 2004-04-22 9:57 AM Delete Edit
EnderG60 Anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac. 2004-04-22 9:58 AM Delete Edit
bwwaahhpp Dave Chapell as Rick James " Show me yah ti**ies bitches! AHHAAAAA!!! I wish I had two more hands..... So I can give those ti**ies FOUR THUMBS DOWN!HHAHAHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, Cocaine is a powerful drug" 2004-04-27 6:23 PM Delete Edit
pressuretested at a light "red" means STOP. 2004-04-28 10:10 AM Delete Edit
pressuretested the joy's of owning your own buisnes is as over rated as the joys of child birth. 2004-04-28 10:12 AM Delete Edit
pressuretested "Hello! My name is Dudley!"-Dudley the nuclear Missle 2004-04-28 10:13 AM Delete Edit
pressuretested "The great thing about Alzheimer's is that you can hide your own easter eggs." 2004-04-28 10:15 AM Delete Edit
pressuretested "Never try to teach a pig to sing. it's a waste of time, it annoys the pig." Robert Heinlein 2004-04-28 10:17 AM Delete Edit
EnderG60 Alchohol causes conflicts, guns resolve conflicts - Ed Helms 2004-05-12 8:11 PM Delete Edit
kilpatty43 sex is like math..you have to add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope to god you dont multiply 2004-06-04 3:09 PM Delete Edit
bwwaahhpp "Darkness, darkness approaches everyone...Daaaarrrrrkkknnnessss!"Dave Chapelle as Rick James 2004-06-24 10:39 AM Delete Edit
bwwaahhpp "what did the five fingers say to the face?.......SLAP BITCH!!!!" Dave Chapell as Rick James 2004-06-29 12:16 PM Delete Edit
nsxnut How do you make a small fortune in racing? Start with a large fortune... 2004-06-29 3:06 PM Delete Edit
PushNnos "Racing in a Honda is like the special olympics...Even if you win, your still retarded." 2004-09-02 9:39 PM Delete Edit
PushNnos If it looks good on the outside, It's probably tore up on the inside... 2004-09-04 9:51 AM Delete Edit
PushNnos You Might Be A Ricer Boy If: You take offense when I say "Your sister is like your car, small, tight, and hard to get into." 2004-09-04 9:52 AM Delete Edit
GTMustang1999 "He says that it sounded like my hobbit that turns the crank case is depressed and needs therapy, we needs to get us a new hobbit...they's from the land beyond time....the land beyond times also gonna hook us up with the unicorn for the radiator....I aint even gonna tell you about that haunted A/C...plus the air filter, thats made of plutonium. Thats gonn' involve superman, so...y'know, plus shipping...from Krypton...and the cow jumping over the moon" -Meatwad describing his $32,724.51 auto repair... 2004-10-06 11:14 AM Delete Edit
duct-tape it's the long vertical one on the right. asshat. 2004-10-26 10:38 AM Delete Edit
Flapss Never think of your car as a cold machine, but as a hot-blooded horse. Juan Manuel Fangio (1958) 2004-10-27 1:24 AM Delete Edit
Flapss There's enough Ferraris here to eat a plate of spaghetti. Jackie Stewart 2004-10-27 1:25 AM Delete Edit
Flapss Every car has a lot of speed in it. The trick is getting the speed out of it. A. J. Foyt 2004-10-27 1:26 AM Delete Edit
Flapss The best classroom of all times was about two car lengths behind Juan Manuel Fangio. Stirling Moss 2004-10-27 1:28 AM Delete Edit
Flapss You win some, you lose some, you wreck some. Dale Earnhardt 2004-10-27 1:31 AM Delete Edit
Flapss It is necessary to relax your muscles when you can. Relaxing your brain is fatal. Stirling Moss 2004-10-27 1:32 AM Delete Edit
Flapss "I knew many drivers more courageous than me. They are dead now." Juan Manuel Fangio 2004-10-27 1:55 AM Delete Edit
Flapss "I like the competition better than the victory, the fighting better than the winning." Stirling Moss 2004-10-27 1:57 AM Delete Edit
Flapss "If God wanted us to walk, he'd have given up pogo sticks instead of feet. Feet are made to fit car pedals." Stirling Moss 2004-10-27 1:58 AM Delete Edit
Flapss "Ferrari Executive: I wish the pope would make you a cardinal, Enzo. Enzo Ferrari: Why a cardinal ? Ferrari Executive: Because then we would only have to kiss your ring." -A Ferrari Executive 2004-10-27 1:59 AM Delete Edit
racer17 what do you call a dog with no back legs and metal balls A: sparky 2005-01-14 8:23 AM Delete Edit
dodgeviperboy did all of u people know that jesus loves u? 2005-02-16 11:29 AM Delete Edit
dodgeviperboy did all of u people know that jesus loves u? 2005-02-16 11:30 AM Delete Edit
dodgeviperboy did all of u people know that jesus loves u? 2005-02-16 11:30 AM Delete Edit
importhater Why Ram it when you can STROKE IT? 2005-05-01 2:08 AM Delete Edit
importhater JESUS LOVES US BUT HE HATES YOU1 2005-05-01 2:10 AM Delete Edit
importhater Jesus loves us but he hates you! 2005-05-01 2:10 AM Delete Edit
importhater Todays Special -Smoked import! (found on back of ws-6 Trans Am) 2005-05-01 2:15 AM Delete Edit
pallikhera Never take Viagra while racing a car,you might grab the wrong stick 2005-05-12 2:23 PM Delete Edit
nobody a lil to late for me 2005-06-02 1:27 PM Delete Edit
02camaross Honda's are like assholes....Everyone's got em' 2005-06-10 9:18 AM Delete Edit

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